AdvoCats - Service Learning

     No body ever seems to know what an AdvoCat is; whenever I mention it, my audience will nod their heads until I finish and then say something like, "Now, what's an Advocat?" AdvoCats are the student volunteers for the Office of Admissions who provide weekly tours for prospective students and families. You've probably seen us on campus; we're always walking backwards followed by a confused-looking group of people.
     Once a week we have Advocat Class where we learn how to put our best foot forward. On the first day of class this semester (my first Advo. class ever) we were supposed to work out our tour schedules. I knew that much, but when the class began, we were bombarded (nicely, of course, because the people at the Office of Admissions are awesome) with information about the school - facts, numbers, stories, tour routes. I knew nothing: or at least, that's the idea that was swimming through my head.
     And then, as we neared the end of class, the coordinator pulled out the tour schedule. I had no idea how the tour schedule worked; I was expecting to give tours whenever I was available, something I know I wasn't ready for. However, I was relieved of this worry when I found out AdvoCats only give one tour a week and it's the same day, same time every week. I was even further relieved when I found my name under the "Thursday morning Alternates" list which would mean I only give tours when the "Regulars" can't make it. Now, I'll be honest: I was relieved, because a lot of my worries had suddenly disappeared, but I was also a bit bummed. I wanted to be an Advocat; I went through the application process and the interviews and I got it: they chose me and I wanted to give tours.
     But then they moved me up.
     Advocat class is on Wednesdays. The coordinator had just moved my name up from the "Alternates" to an empty spot on the "Regulars" list for the very next morning. I had just seen the tour route and information for the first time and I was going to have to give a tour the very next morning?! Yes. But, I was relieved yet again by the other Regular who had been an Advocat before; she took the real tour group while the practicing newbies took a practice tour by themselves.
     Last Thursday, I gave my very first solo tour. I was just me waling backwards, and fifteen other potential Bobcats and despite my nervousness the night before, it went swimmingly. I gave three more solo tours the very next day (last Friday) at MSU Friday.

Volunteer at Convocation - Service Learning

   Near the beginning of this year, my coordinator for Advocats sent out an email to all of us that the Leadership Institute needed volunteers to help at Convocation. There was a T-shirt, a ticket to the Master Class, and a meal involved so obviously, I decided I would help out. It's funny, looking back on the time now, because I work with the people I had to interact with during my volunteer hours. I was a little nervous to go to the office and get my t-shirt - I had never been to the LI office before - and Aleks helped me out, though I didn't know her at the time.
     On the day of the event, I had a full schedule of classes, so I didn't have time to coordinate with my Advo. buddies who were also volunteering; I showed up at the Master Class by myself. I was wearing the volunteer t-shirt; I felt terribly under-dressed. But then I introduced myself to some fun looking strangers and my anxiety levels went down a bit.
     After the Master Class, I was supposed to find Eric who would be wearing a blue shirt and khakis. Now I know exactly who Eric is and I have a blue LI shirt of my own, but back then, as a volunteer, I had no idea what to expect or who I was looking for. Luckily, though, I quickly noticed the uniform blue shirt and a cluster of volunteer shirts so I sorted myself out and got myself where I was supposed to be.
     After the general confusion had died down - we reached the fieldhouse, we ate our dinner, I found some familiar faces - I felt much more at ease. Then Josh told me I would be escorting Yann Martel from his car to his green room. So that was the end of that peacefulness. As an aspiring writer myself, I was so excited to actually be walking with Mr. Martel and potentially talking to him; naturally, I sent a text to my mom, my dad, and my roommate (who were all equally as excited - with the exception of my dad who still does not know who Yann Martel is).
     It was an important job; I waited in the back hall, where the greenrooms and all the important people of MSU were also waiting. I escorted lost freshman to their corresponding entrance. And eventually, Destini (another volunteer) and I were delegated the responsibility of escorting President Cruzado through the mob of freshman inside the fieldhouse. Somehow, despite the fact that my partner was much taller than me, I ended up in the front of Pres. Waded while we pushed our way through the mob, but it worked; we got her where she needed to be.
     At the end of the day, I had participated in my first LI event; I came to more fully understand my sense of unease when I know I don't know what I'm doing or when I don't have something to do. I practiced approaching people - from students I don't know to the President of the school. And then I was able to sit back and relax while I saw a tiger and heard Mr. Martel.

Decision Making

     I enjoyed the "Hidden Traps" article the most, perhaps out of anything we've read so far, because it discussed the psychological, subconscious issues that are easy to ignore - even if done simply out of ignorance. I find myself falling into the Status-Quo Trap more often than any other and I didn't recognize that until I read this article. I knew of a few problems I had in decision making, but couldn't label the problem (or trap) until just now. I've found this semester that labeling the problems - and the successes - is half the battle. As humans, we find order in labeling and organizing. Like "Leadership Styles" mentions, when something is hazy we tend to imagine it is farther away; similarly, when something is not labeled, it's easy to dismiss or ignore. Being able to label each of these decision-making traps, not only allows for us to move forward in decision-making, but ultimately to be more comfortable in general (less stressed out about subconscious problems) and so to be able to lead more completely. If the leader is comfortable, the supporters are comfortable.

Deidre, Annie, and Richard Lewis

     Today we meditated in class, led by Annie. And as I read Part three of Deedee's The Way of Conflict, I kept seeing connection after connection. For example, the statement on page 78, "When I am centered, finding answers becomes effortless; indeed, solutions seem to find me." This sentence was the third that I highlighted, the first that made me realize all of my highlighted passages were connected to Annie's lesson today. In the previous passage, "centered" is synonymous with "mindful;" and "finding answers" is the result we achieve from being awake, from controlling our reactions. I like the sentence "Conflict frequently begins as a win-lose proposition" (76). Because, more than explicitly stating it, this sentence forces the reader to realize that in order to reach any successful goal, you must move past that initial beginning: conflict, when it begins, will suck, but if you want to make it better you have to move past that beginning.
     It is interesting to me that the meditation technique from DeeDee's discussion on grounding a fire conflict highlights the difference between the mind and the body: "try moving your focus from your center to your head and back to center, and note the strength and stability." I regularly meditate - or, at least, I try to - and each time I sit down and close my eyes, once I empty my mind and begin to breathe, I am faced with my fear of wide open, empty space. When I'm in my mind what I see is the empty blackness that is me stuck behind my eyelids. When I bring myself and my focus to my body, my fear is gone and my mind can't even dwell on it. This happens every single time: I start with anxiety and a focus on the body and on the earth brings me peace.
     The idea of this initial discomfort reminds me of Lewis' parting statement, "If [he] takes off [his] national spectacles, the world is initially blurred and out of focus." It takes multiple attempts - often more chances than you think reasonable - in order to find balance, or sensitivity, or resolution, whatever it is you're looking for. When I first started meditating, all I saw for a long time was that nerve-racking emptiness, but if you're willing to reach past those, to stretch your edge, you'll reach your goal.

Karl Heiselmann interview

"So I think getting people into the right state is half the battle. If you create those conditions, you can get great people. And I’m always amazed at what people will do if you give them the right context and the right environment."

The above quote, from Karl Heiselmann, seems an apt summary of my Leadership Attributes paper. I love this man, and I don't even know him. Well, maybe that's a bit extreme: I love his leadership style and the way he approaches leadership. Yeah, that's better. 
I love what he said about people and the people he wants to work with: "When they’re not being looked at, you can tell a lot by the expression on their face." It matters that Karl cares enough to notice the looks on their faces. It matters that he asks, "What's your story." It comes back to the most important attribute of my paper - Community. When you ask about people, you learn about them and you care about them.

Kouzes, Ch.5

This chapter really resonated with me and what I'm involved with on campus right now. When Kouzes discussed Regan Bergmark and her struggles with bringing a new organization to her campus, I completely felt for her. This summer, my roommate and I worked toward bringing a chapter of Delta Gamma to the Montana State campus. We got a group of girls interested, connected DG alum in Bozeman, had everything we needed...except for space on campus: the current houses aren't full and so a new house wouldn't be allowed on campus for another four years. But we had all these girls who wanted something from us; so we made a club - a local sorority. We're now at 43 girls - which is big, really big for Bozeman. We have as many girls as the national sorority chapters on campus have (but that's not the point, I'm just bragging). Which brings me to the next point, "Unless external communication is actively encouraged, people interact with outsiders less and less frequently and new ideas are cut off" (80). As our name grew on campus we received extremely mixed reviews from Greek life, but instead of hiding, we reached out. We've so far had socials with three fraternities on campus and have an upcoming mixer with one of the sororities. As we reach out, we can better explain ourselves; we get help and advice, and - most importantly - support from these students who become our friends. I like the Rumi quote on page 81, "Looking up gives light, although at first it makes you dizzy." This is our first semester and so far it looks like this club is holding on for the long haul; we have two girls who have stepped up out of nowhere to organize our first philanthropic event. We're creating leaders out of these women and it feels amazing to be able to do this and to watch them succeed. This is our first semester and we're not even through it yet; the prospects are daunting - dizzying - but exciting. It's just like what we learned when Tom came to class: What you interpret at first as fear is actually excitement.

Kouzes, Ch. 4

This is coming in late, but I did the responses in the book and generated some good ideas so I'm going to put this out there anyway. I want to start with the quote on page 63:

"If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 And Kouzes words just prior to that, "You have to paint a compelling picture of the future, one that enables constituents to experience viscerally what it would be like to actually experience and participate in an exciting and uplifting future." Chapter four has spoken to me more deeply than any other of Kouzes' chapters as of yet. I spoke in my 'Leader' speech about inspiration, "I want to be able to inspire;" it was the last of all my goals, the epitome of all the dreams for myself. When I did the exercises at the end of this chapter, I found first that the patterns and themes for my "turning points" all equaled to Adaptation; every single experience necessitated an immediate change of plan and a permanent change of plan. My injury junior year of high school ended my competitive athletic career; my grandpa and high school English teacher begged me to consider Creative Writing as a study and career; my choice to come to Montana State literally moved my entire life. The second part of the exercises really stuck with me though because what I found was that my ultimate goal for myself and my projects and for my audiences is inspiration. I want my work to inspire. I almost think this chapter should have come before the values chapter because this better helped me understand my goal - my ultimate value: inspiration.